so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
