1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
its not stalking. its research.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
