ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
