Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
