You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
