she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
