that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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