Sponge bath it is.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
