His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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