5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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