I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
