I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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