The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize