she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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