I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I just found puke in my bra..
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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