i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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