ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
