I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize