Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
