so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize