You're my little dorito
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
