Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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