Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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