Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
