they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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