she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
My vagina is officially offended.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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