i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize