TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
