I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She bit a glass in half.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Randomize
