big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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