Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
