I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
