The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize