he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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