Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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