I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
