It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
