Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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