consequently i now know what mace tastes like
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
