You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
You smell like stripper and shame
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
