Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
