I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
