I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
