bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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