Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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