why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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