I want to walk on stilts...naked
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
