every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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