lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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