matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
