Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
