I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
3pm strippers are depressing
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
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