I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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