so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
