there's paper in my vomit.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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