You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
