A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Couch. On fire.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
