I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
