In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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