I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
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