Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
