i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize