Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
