it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
