you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
