Where did you get a picture of my penis
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
