How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'm just crazy horny about you
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I can't turn off my feet"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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