I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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