Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize