Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
